Assalamualaikum dan salam Ramadhan :) Keep calm and continue reading. Past few days aku ada terbaca post Fatin Liyana yang dia share daripada Madam Fauziah Mohd Noor. And that post keep me asking myself, what does it means to be a wife Yana? Okay, I am not yet a wife, but Insya-Allah soon will be, so kena tanya soalan macam ni ulang-ulang dekat diri. Pada mula dan secara jujurnya, niat aku nak menjadi seorang isteri adalah tak lain tak bukan sebab nak menghalalkan sebuah kasih sayang yang dah terjalin, dah tak nak couple couple, dan nak mencari redha Allah. WITHOUT thinking am I well-prepared for that? And at that time macam POSITIVE sangat sampaikan memikirkan semuanya MUDAH lagi INDAH belaka. Right after I read entry tersebut hari tu aku macam insan yang baru lepas digoncang-goncang dari buaian mimpi indah, mamun dan mula tercari-cari apakah persediaan aku setakat ni?
Secara jujurnya lagi, sebagai seorang perempuan, kita akan lebih teruja dengan persiapan kahwin tu melebihi persiapan untuk menjadi bakal isteri yang terbaik. Kita lebih fokus nak baju cantik daripada nak cantikkan diri dengan skil memasak. Aku memang bercakap pada diri sendiri dan tanpa halangan terus dipantulkan pada dahiku yang jendol ini -_-" Okay, aku bukan lah bermaksud, dah tak payah nak kahwin, pergi buat persediaan dekat diri sendiri. Anioanioanio, berkahwinlah sebab kalau kita mampu dan dah dalam kriteria wajib kahwin maka kahwinlah. Lagipun perkahwinan adalah sunnah Nabi kita, sebagaimana hadith ini :
Dari Aisyah Radiallahu-Ahna ia berkata: Telah bersabda Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam: Perkahwinan itu adalah sunnahku, sesiapa yang tidak suka mengikut sunnahku maka bukanlah dia dari golongan umatku. (Riwayat Al-Imam Ibnu Majah).
Jadi apa yang aku nak share hari ini adalah memberi persiapan pada diri sendiri, persiapan dari segi ilmu, apa yang kita perlu faham tentang sebuah perkahwinan dan apa maknanya menjadi seorang isteri :) Bukan la bermaksud kita kena master semua hal baru boleh kahwin, tapi at least effort kita tu, lagi pun the rest we will continue learn through our marriage la kan. Ye la, kalau tak kahwin tak tahu macam mana kehidupan orang berkahwin, lain orang lain pengalaman hidup dia, lain personaliti dan berbeza cara masing-masing handle rumahtangga masing-masing. Jadi mana nasihat yang boleh kita apply dalam in our future house nanti why not kita cuba, so here we go, perkongsian dalam mempersiapkan diri menjadi isteri yang solehah, Insya-Allah :)
Duties
A wife’s most important duty is to contribute to as much as possible to the success of her marriage. She should be a source of comfort for her husband, a devoted supporter and adviser.
“Our Lord! Grant us wives and offspring who will be the joy and comfort of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness.” [Qu’ran 25. 74]
A wife should obey her husband but this does not mean that she should be subservient to him. As Islam places upon the husband the role of head of the family, so the wife is the head of the household. Such an arrangement makes for a partnership of co-operation and a man is expected to consult his wife for her opinion on household and family matters.
An Islamic wife is expected to be faithful, to her husband and to Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala سبحانه و تعالى), and also trustworthy. A wife should make herself attractive to her husband, just as he should make an effort to look his best for her, and not deny her husband sexual relations unless she has a reason for doing so. Physical intimacy is as important as emotional intimacy.
A wife’s obedience to her husband does not mean at all costs, particularly if he goes against the teachings of the Qur’an. Also, a husband is obliged to treat his wife kindly, and if he does not do so, if he is controlling or abusive – whether physically or emotionally – it is no reflection on how good a wife you are. You have the right to protection and you should not have to suffer in silence.
Getting On
Naturally, there may be times when your marital relationship does not run smoothly. It is a part of life, and overcoming difficulties together is an important part of marriage life. You should not dwell on aspects of your husband’s personality that you may not like. If they do not go against Islam, then do not try to change them. Equally, he will find traits in you that are less pleasing to him. It is important to work around these and to focus on each other’s good points.
Ultimately, both husband and wife have the right to be treated with kindness and tenderness by their spouse and the right to intercourse and enjoyment of one another. For a truly successful marriage, however, you should make time to pray together and make Du’a to Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taalaسبحانه و تعالى).
Maybe perkongsian ini tak seberapa, tapi kita boleh nampak apa yang kita perlu belajar dari sekarang. And bila cakap pasal tanggungjawab isteri dalam rumahtangga pulak, macam yang mak aku cakap :
Mak : Mak ni nampak je macam suri rumah sepenuh masa tapi mak sandang banyak jawatan.
Aku : Oh ye? Jawatan apa mak?
Mak : Chef, Pengarah Dobi, Pekebun, Kaunselor, Pasukan sorak, banyak lagi lah.
Aku : Uiyohh hebat mak ni. Hahaha tapi ada satu lagi mak tinggal, pensyarah. Oh lols :p
Lebih kurang macam tu la, and dari apa yang mak cakap tu aku tau yang mak nak sampaikan kat aku bahawasanya bila dah jadi seorang isteri tu tanggungjawab dia sangatlah besar, banyak peranan kena laksanakan and bayangkan kalau kita ni wanita bekerjaya, lagi bertambah tanggungjawab kita. Wahh kalau fikir macam berat sangat ja kan, tapi kita kena ingat yang all things are difficult before they turn easy kan. So, berusahalah, chaiyok chaiyok! Kalau mak boleh buat why not me, aku kan anak mak, jayyeah! :D
And finally what we should know is the righteous woman is considered both a joy and blessing to her husband. Love and understanding between us and our future soul mate will contribute to live together in harmony, loving, supporting, advising and also tolerating each other. So, if dekat dunia ni kita berusaha untuk menjadi bidadari buat dia, Insya-Allah sampai syurga pun kita akan jadi bidadari dia, Allah knows best! :)
The bond shared by a husband and wife is best summed up as follows:
“They are your garments and you are their garments.” [Surah Al Baqarah 2:187]